I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think my mom watched the whole time
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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