Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
