I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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