i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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