U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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