Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize