I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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