You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
