I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my phone needs a breathalizer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
