Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
