I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
