man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
