Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
