I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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