In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
