She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
