And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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