wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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