For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
