I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
