i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
