Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
