He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
