After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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