I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
