thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
