Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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