thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
