It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
