shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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