apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
