So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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