okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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