She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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