i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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