Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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