I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
