you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize