I hate all girls vehemently.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
