I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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