The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just pee around me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
