Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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