Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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