I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
