no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
