Where is the hickey?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
