I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize