Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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