So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
