threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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