Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
