Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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