maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
