I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
