Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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