I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
