if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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