I'm jealous of your bromance
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize