I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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