She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
