I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
