i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
