I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
